If this is Clean Living, I think I’ll get dirty again!

Words on Wednesday

Welcome to Words on Wednesday!

Week Three and what the heck and I going to talk about? I really should get a list of topics going! Actually, I have one, the problem is that it’s in my head and the data retrieval unit I use (i.e. my brain) is getting old and decrepit! And it’s taking the rest of me with it!

I know! Only 42 and she’s already over the hill and gaining speed fast!

This month has been one of “trying to do all the right things” and so far, I’m not enamored of the results. Has that ever happened to you? I suppose you have to get rid of ALL the bad before the good can take effect but you’d think there would be a little consistency along the way, right?

Fair warning: this post may well delve into many matters considered TMI but any woman of a certain age may just get a laugh and give a nod of understanding so plow on if you dare!

Have you ever watched the show “The Big Bang Theory”? My husband and I love it and, let’s be honest here, it’s probably because I see a lot of him, his father, my brother and a lot of the people from our Ultimate team in the characters! Sheldon Cooper cracks me up! But the one thing I specifically wanted to point out was how he draws up a bathroom schedule for himself and his roommate Leonard. As if anyone can actually force their bowels to adhere to a schedule?!

How I wish!!

I have never been what you’d call a regular kind of gal (by any definition of that word) but since the birth of daughter #3 my body just tore that concept out of my handbook and ripped it to tiny little shreds! Nice, right? Oh, and decided that being Lactose Intolerant would be fun too.

Um, not so much!

What do you mean ice cream is off the menu?!

And cheese?

And any sort of pastries made with butter?

What’s left?

It’s been six years since I diagnosed myself as no longer being a friend to the Canadian Dairy Industry, and I’ve seen improvements and learned to manage things. But … lately, I seem to have gut aches, cramping, bloating, and other fun symptoms associated with this condition (that we won’t mention by name) all the time.

All. The. Time!

So what’s going on? I had a Colonoscopy in December but that didn’t seem to result in anything concrete. In fact, I have to say that I was better before the procedure! Can we have a do-over then? Where is that time machine when you really need it?

So what’s a girl to do?

Let’s start with a bit of clean(er) living and see what happens. Green smoothies seem to be all the rage, let’s try them out. No problem, I actually like vegetables so easy peasy, pass the spinach! I’ve always been a proponent of cooking real food so making even healthier, home made dishes is not that big a change. What else? More water, less wine.

Wait a minute! Less wine?

Sigh, okay.

We are at the official two week mark and I am ready to go back to my old ways. It’s been two weeks of constant gut aches, never knowing when the need to find a bathroom will hit, never ending ‘bedroom eyes’ from the Mister which have to be shot down because of uneasy tummy situations, and today … oh, today (Tuesday actually as that’s when I’m writing this) … today was hell. Constipation of epic proportions and then … well, we don’t need to go there. Suffice it to say that it’s now 9:00PM and I am only now starting to feel like a human again. My poor children! Talk about ‘Bad Mommy Moments’! I think I kicked them out the door this morning with barely a kiss and a “have a good day”!

Tomorrow I will see where we’re at and most likely make a smoothie (if only to use up the spinach!) But tonight, I officially declare I am taking the night off. It’s The Flash, and Agent Carter and the Shannara Chronicles which I think need to be watched with a giant bag of chips! Sound good?

Who’s with me?


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