Teenagers … whose bright idea was that anyways?

Words on Wednesday

Welcome Wednesday!

Actually, this post is a bit late because this Wednesday is not welcome!

I am battling something. Not sure what it is, but two of my three little germ factories … er, daughters … have been hacking and sneezing for days so I blame them for the aches and the runny nose.

But, onwards!

Speaking of my daughters, my eldest (who is soon to be 12) came home from school yesterday with a “funny” notice. That’s what she called it. “Mom I have two notices. One is about basketball and the other is a bit funny.”

Instantly intrigued I snatched it up. It was notifying us that our children would be seeing The Video this week at school and would we please be ready to answer any questions that may arise.

Oh.

Right.

The Video. And yes, it needs to be capitalized like that because that is how she refers to it. I can see the capitals (and there may even be quotation marks) in her speech when she talks about it!

So, were there any questions I could answer before this Terrible Event?

No.

Are you sure? I’m ready, fire away!

No, I’m good Mom.

Phew! Dodged that bullet!

But it does bring up a good point and that’s what I wanted to write about today. How ready am I to answer the questions my daughters may have of me regarding the birds and the bees?

I remember how my mother did it. “I think it’s time I got you a book”. Good talk Mum!

I found that book a little while ago and let me tell you, it didn’t answer a whole lot! It was from a Christian book store which shouldn’t automatically negate it, but in this case, it left out more than it put in. Yes, there were some anatomically correct(ish) drawings of the male and female reproductive systems. And yes, it talked about hygiene, and acne, and changes in young bodies. But it was woefully lacking in practically applicable examples.

Like, what kind of products should I be buying my teeny tiny little girl for that inevitable first period? And how do I help her navigate the maelstrom that is teenage girl HELL? Because, you know, girls are mean little B-itches! And when is a good time for her to shave her legs, underarms, and other regions?

Help!

I’d ask my Mum but she’s gone and I’d ask my other Mom but she raised boys so … yay! I get to fly blind through this! Awesome!

My husband is absolutely no help! For starters, he’s male. ‘Nuff said really. And b) he was too scared of the female gender until well into his 20’s to have taken notice of anything remotely useful here. We have girls. I’m a girl. Therefore, it’s up to me.

Man I hope I don’t screw this up!

So, if you have any helpful advice, leave it in the comments. If you think that all I need is a good bottle of wine to get me through the next couple of decades (because, you know, THREE girls, did I mention that?) then please, by all means help a girl out!

Oh, and if you are willing to house my husband while all three girls cycle together AND his wife deals with menopause, let me know!

Have a good week everyone! If you need me I’ll be reading up on Sexual Health in the Twenty First Century, and drinking … much drinking!

 

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